Death on the road to Blackthorn
by Minky2013
Summary: A horrifying yet funny tale of savage slaughter, regret and mental deconstruction as Ash systematically rids himself of his closest friends and loved ones then finds himself resorting to suicide! One shot


I found I couldn't sleep one night and decided to write a wonderfully dark Pokémon comedy!

The morning broke with a picturesque sunrise; bright orange rays lit the forest giving it an emerald glow. Ash and his companions (Brock and Misty) were awakening from a peaceful night sleep.

Yawn "Oh man! I really need something to eat, come on Pikachu" Ash rolled out of his sleeping bag and put on his scruffy grey trainers.

"Morning Ash." Brock greeted cheerfully, as he removed a steel teapot from the campfire. He was always the first one to rise in the morning.

"Yo Brock, how about some scrambled eggs, I'm starving."Ash asked cheekily.

"How about you get some more firewood? Then maybe I'll cook you some

breakfast" Brock replied with a chuckle. He removed a newspaper from his backpack and began to read.

"Yeah yeah, I hear ya, Hey where's big mouth?" Ash asked, referring to Misty.

"Oh, I think she's gone behind one of those trees to take a leak or

something?" Brock said pre-occupied with his paper, he vaguely waved his hand in the direction of some nearby bushes.

"Three days we've spent in this stupid forest, if I have to wipe my ass on leaves much longer I'm gonna crack!" Ash joked crudely, as he made his way into a thicket of trees.

"YOU PERVERTS BETTER NOT BE SPYING ON ME!" Misty screeched, concealed by the bushes, Ash winced with frustration at the piercing pitch of her voice; Brock was so startled he almost spilled his coffee over his lap. _I wish she would fuck off_ Ash thought to himself as he gathered the wood.

"I hope you're not cooking eggs, you know I hate eggs!" Misty winged in an ungrateful tone as she emerged from the bush.

"You know something? Where I come from you get what your given, or you don't eat" Brock responded annoyed. Misty slumped down on the grass and prodded the fire with a stick.

"Where's Ash with that firewood, I'm famished!" Misty whined. "Togi, togi!" agreed Togapi.

"Give the guy a break, he'll be back soon." Brock began to prepare some plates and cutlery on the fold away table. Ash and Pikachu were still collecting firewood in a clearing under the shade of some tall trees, he was complaining about Misty to himself as he struggled to keep the twigs and sticks from falling back on the ground.

"Stupid Misty following me around all day, I wish she'd get a life!"

"Pika, pi pikachu!" even pikachu was annoyed.

"Yeah you're telling me!" Ash laughed. Suddenly his chunttering was interrupted by a blood curdling scream from overhead; scared senseless, Ash dropped his firewood and looked up wide eyed as strange figures raced through the leaves with frightening speed.

"SHIT!" Ash grabbed Pikachu and ploughed through the bushes, desperate to escape whatever it was that made the terrifying noise, he stumbled through the foliage and burst into the campsite.

"You guys! There's something back there!" panted Ash.

"Where's the firewood! God you can be so selfish sometimes!" Misty complained.

"Never mind that! I almost got killed!" Ash exaggerated

"Don't over react Ash, you probably just disturbed a Pidgey or something" said Brock reassuringly.

"It didn't sound like one, right Pikachu?"

"pika pika!"

"Well anyway the fires gone out, looks like were gonna have to wait until lunch for something to eat. Ash, start packing up we need to be on the road by eight o'clock if you wanna catch Clair at the Blackthorn gym tomorrow" Brock said, as he began to roll up his sleeping bag.

"Oh yeah I forgot about that! I suppose we can get some food on the way, there's bound to be a shop or a gas station somewhere." Ash chirped, putting on his favourite cap.

"Oh great now I have to miss out on breakfast, if only Ash never destroyed my bike I wouldn't have to live like a smelly gypsy in the woods with you two losers." Misty complained, as she viciously packed her things away. Ash was instantly enraged; he narrowed his eyes and stormed over to Misty, kicking her bag clean out of her hands.

"You stupid bitch! All you ever go on about is that fucking bike! Why don't you do something helpful like shutting your trap for five minutes?" Yelled Ash, Misty just stared in astonishment.

"HEY! Watch your language ash!" Brock stepped in

"Yeah well! If she doesn't like it then she can just piss off home, no one asked her to come!" ranted Ash.

Misty stood up, furious at Ash. "You jerk! I would never have met you if you hadn't stolen my bike!" she pointed out.

"YOU SEE! THERE IT IS AGAIN! MY BIKE THIS, MY BIKE THAT! FUCK YOU MISTY!" roared Ash.

"BE QUIET! The both of you! Misty I don't wanna hear anymore about your bike, dragging it up all the time won't bring it back. And Ash you need to calm down, how do you ever expect to be a pokemon master with that attitude. Ok? Good, end of discussion." Brock usually ended Ash and Misty's arguments.

After packing away all of there camping gear, Ash, Brock and Misty set out to Blackthorn city, they walked down the dusty road in silence until they came to a shop. Misty went to buy some snacks while Ash and Brock waited outside consulting their map, when suddenly…

VRRROOOOOOOOMM!

Officer Jenny pulled up on her motorcycle.

"Hey there kids! I was wondering if you could help me?" she enquired friendly as ever.

"Officer Jenny! Oh my sweet officer Jenny, what do you say we ditch these kids and go on a date!" Brock asked, mesmerized by the young woman.

"What's up with him?" She asked half flattered and half annoyed at the childish offer.

"Oh don't mind him; he's always like this around girls, so how can we help?" Ash asked.

"Well I was wondering? Since you just came from the forest did you happen to see anything strange ?"

"Like what?" Ash asked intrigued.

"Well I don't want to scare you but, there have been local reports about a group of marauding pokemon attacking innocent people in the area, there was also one report of a young child being abducted by them, and I wondered if you might have seen anything?"

"That's terrible." Ash said shaking his head.

"Sorry officer Jenny we never saw anything, but we'll call you straight away if we do!" Brock said, happy to help.

"Thank you very much, its good to know there are some responsible kids around, it makes our job a lot easier, and remember and stay on the roads, it will be much safer! And make sure you stick together, they tend to attack people on their own." She waved goodbye, started up her engine and roared off into the distance.

"Whoa! What kind of pokemon goes around attacking people?" Ash thought out loud.

"Maybe it was them I saw in the forest?"

"I wouldn't worry Ash, Pokemon don't tend to attack people unless they're provoked" warned Brock.

"What pokemon is that?" Misty asked as she came out of the shop holding several full plastic bags.

"Oh it's nothing important, what did you get for lunch?" Brock asked.

It was now dusk, the gang walked several miles more, before Ash complained he was hungry and needed food if he was to carry on. Contrary to what officer Jenny told them, they strayed from the highway and entered the dense woodland that flanked the right side of the road to take shelter. The dark silhouette of the treetops against the dark foreboding clouds looked menacing as they towered overhead. It began to rain.

"Ok guys that's far enough for today, Let's stop here and set up camp; I could do with a bite to eat myself." Brock said, arching his back as he dropped his backpack.

"All right! Food!" Ash exclaimed.

Brock scouted the area for a suitable spot to set up the campfire, while Ash and Misty squabbled over the plastic bag, arguing over which food belonged to who. The scent of fresh ham, cheese, and various other delectable treats wafted through the evening air, little did the gang know the scrumptious goodies were attracting the indigenous residents of the forest, strange noises emanated from the trees overhead and on all sides.

"err guys?" Brock tried to warn his friends, but Ash and Misty were engrossed in their argument.

"MISTY for the last time give me the bag!" Ash bellowed.

"WHY? So you can eat everything and leave nothing for me!"

"You never even paid for any of it you scrounger!" retorted Ash.

"Well if you never stole my bike I wouldn't even be here!" yelled Misty.

Ash felt something snap inside at the mention of Misty's wretched bike. "FINE! HAVE THE FUCKING LOT YOU GREEDY BITCH!" Ash roared monstrously, as he shoved the bag into Misty's chest, knocking her to the ground.

"You've done nothing but complain ever since I met you, nothings ever good enough, I hate you so much I wish you were DEAD!" Just as Misty was going to yell back there was a sudden rush of leaves, a vicious pack of screaming Mankies led by a Primape flew out of the trees and surrounded Misty.

"What the… HELP ME YOU GUYS!" Misty yelled.

"Oh Jesus! JUST KEEP STILL" Brock shouted as he fished around for Geodude's pokeball.

"Heh heh, Hey Misty I didn't know your family was coming to visit? Maybe you could introduce us." Ash chuckled, as he observed the irate pack of pokemon beating there chests.

"You stupid jerk get rid of them!" commanded Misty.

"They only want the food! Just give it to them, Ash stop laughing and help out!" instructed Brock.

"Chill out Brocko! They're only a bunch of Mankies, ha! Look at her she's crapping her pants!" Ash jested, unaware that this was the pack of marauding pokemon officer Jenny warned them of. The Primape growled and suddenly the rabid creatures flew at Misty attaching themselves to her arms and legs. "HEEEEEEEEELP MEEEEEEEE!" she screamed, as the veracious creatures sunk their fangs deep into her soft skin, blood gushed heavily as the merciless creatures ripped bloody hanks of flesh clean from the bone.

"GET OFF! HELP! NOOO PLEEE…." she was cut short, Ash and Brock were engulfed by fear and shock, as the Primape tore Misty's windpipe from her throat cavity holding it high in the air like a trophy, her gurgling blood soaked yelps began to grow softer, as life began to escape the young girl's body.

"MISTY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ash screamed as he ran to her rescue, Brock locked Ash's arms behind his back and struggled to hold him.

"DON'T BE AN IDIOT THEY'LL ATTACK YOU TOO!" Brock warned fearfully. The Primape suddenly screamed and began to brutally beat Misty's head, her jaw and nose were crushed as the berserk creature furiously smashed its huge fists down onto her face, two other Mankies squabbled over a large strip of flesh torn from her leg, and another was gnawing her ankle down to the bone trying to remove her foot. The primape's fur was drenched a deep red by the spurting blood and as it mercilessly battered her face into a bloody pulp, her eyeballs burst and began to leak a yellow substance.

"GET THE FUCK OFF ME!" Ash roared as he broke free from Brocks grip.

"PIKACHU, ELECTRIC ATTACK!"

"ASH, NOOOOOOOOOO!" Brock screamed helplessly, as Pikachu leapt into the air and began to charge up.

It suddenly went dark, Pikachu's body was surging with such devastating power that it caused the clouds to part and swirl high overhead, it charged itself to such a dangerously high level that the static energy in the air vaporized the dew off the surrounding grass and gave off a frighteningly loud vibrating noise. Misty was surely going to die.

"IDIOT, YOU'LL FINISH HER OFF!" But it was too late.

"NOW PIKACHU!" Ash screamed furiously. Pikachu attacked, and with a tremendous flash of light and an earth shattering "CRACK" the tremendously powerful supercharged lightening bolt struck Misty in the chest, attracted by the metal on her red braces. Her hair burst into a roaring greenish purple ball of fire, her blood was instantly vaporized in her veins causing her to convulse violently, it seemed as if the whole forest had exploded in a brilliant shower of sparks and flaming wood as six million volts of energy surged through her body killing every single living microbe. The Mankies screamed in terror at the horrific sight, and fled to the safety of the trees, the Primape looked back and noticed Togepi who was cowering under some large leaves, it snarled viciously and grabbed the small creature who was squealing and wriggling with fear as it was carried off, never to be seen again. And with one final explosion it was all over.

It was silent, heavy clouds of smoke laid on the ground, Ash recoiled as the smell of charred flesh waffed through the air.

"Misty? MISTY! Oh god?" Ash yelped, as he cautiously made his way through the veil of smoke, choking and spluttering. Suddenly Ash stopped in horror.

"Oh my god!" Misty had been roasted alive! Her flesh had been literally cooked, her eyes were empty smouldering sockets, her organs were flash boiled in her stomach which exploded from her abdomen during the electrocution. Ash noticed the surrounding tree branches were draped with intestines; he instantly dropped to his knees and vomited, violently.

"JESUS CHRIST, HELP US! HELP PLEASE HELP US SOMEONE!" Ash screamed hysterically.

"SMACK" Brock hit Ash in the face and rammed him up against a tree.

"You fucking moron! You killed her!" Ash looked terrified as Brock landed another blow to his jaw, knocking him to the ground. Ash remained on the ground crying, he was reminiscing the adventures he and Misty had been through, all the times they fought, all the times they laughed, it was unbelievable! Five minutes ago she was alive as ever, and now she was dead, the very thought of her death started to make him question his own existence as he lay grieving on the damp forest floor.

"This cant be real…"

Brock walked a few paces towards the nearby lake, he put his hands on his hips and hung his head in thought, he looked out across the water.

"FUCK!" Brock barked in abrupt frustration, sending the curse word echoing across the calm water.

"I-I didn't know it would kill her" Ash sobbed, Pikachu ran up his back and sat on his shoulder, trying to comfort him.

"Well what the fuck do you think happens WHEN YOU ELECTROCUTE SOMEONE!"

Brock roared sarcastically.

"FOR YOUR INFORMATION I WAS TRYING TO HELP HER" Ash yelled defensively, trying to convince himself he done nothing wrong.

"You stupid, stupid, fucking STUPID PRICK!" Brock sneered.

"W-What are we going to do now!" Ash said, turning his gaze to Misty's charred remains.

"I'll tell you what we're gonna do, we're gonna throw her in that lake and pray to god no one fucking finds her! Come on get up! grab her feet." ordered Brock.

"But… we can't just throw her… OH MY GOD THIS IS SO FUCKED UP" Ash despaired.

"FINE! I'll fucking do it myself!" Brock began to drag Misty to the lake edge, her limbs cracking with stiffness against the friction of the rough ground. Brock heaved her on to her stomach and rolled her into the water, Ash watched as her lifeless corpse floated over the water's pristine surface, dyeing the water black with burnt skin. Brock picked up his backpack and walked away from Ash.

"WAIT BROCK! Where are you going?" Ash asked, as he circled in front of Brock.

"I've had enough, I'm going home … and I suggest you do the same thing"

Brock brushed past Ash and walked onto the forest path, towards the main road.

Ash's eyes filled with tears.

"But we've gotta get to Blackthorn gym!" Ash yelled, trying to act as if nothing had happened.

"OH WAKE UP ASH! It's over! No more pokemon, no more gym badges, no more journeys, NO MORE US!...it's over." Brock said firmly, the two boys stared at each other silently.

"You do what you want, I'm outta here" Ash watched as Brock swiftly walked down the path, and then passed out of sight.

Ash never felt more alone in his entire life, a frantic despair churned in his stomach as he thought about the possible consequences of his crime.

Suddenly his thoughts were interrupted by a warm trickle of liquid coursing down the groove of his spine. Pikachu had pissed on him. Ash grabbed a handful of Pikachu's loose skin and hurled him to the floor.

"It's your fucking fault YOU FUCKING RAT! GO ON, FUCK OFF" Ash screamed demonically, Pikachu looked heart broken; Ash had never hit him before. "I SAID GET OUT OF HERE!" Ash picked up a heavy stick and threatened to hit the poor creature, Pikachu looked at Ash one last time, and scurried off into the forest. Ash let out a great wail of despair and threw his pokeballs into the water, then collapsed to his knees shivering with guilt and anxiety, He stayed there, in the pitch black woods with Misty's dead body bobbing on the water's surface for hours, for the rest of his life his memory would be haunted by that tragic evening. Ash walked all night, he lost count of the miles he travelled.

Dawn broke that's when the sign for Pallet town came into view, Ash found some comfort in the fact he'd be home soon.

The streets were bathed in the morning's bleak blue light making it seem cold and unwelcoming, Ash trudged his way along the familiar dirt road, his blisters were throbbing from the night's long trek. Finally he was home. "oh Jesus, what am I gonna tell my mom?" Ash said aloud as he turned the door knob, he stepped over the threshold and hung his hat on the coat stand. "Ash? ASH! Oh my god, I wasn't expecting you, I always told you to call before you visit!" Mrs Ketchum said in a rather flustered tone as she descended the staircase, in a revealing dressing gown, he expected a warmer greeting from his own mother for god's sake!

"Mom? What's going on?" Ash enquired.

"Absolutely nothing! Come on, I'll make you some breakfast" She said evasively, ushering Ash into the kitchen.

"Mom there's someone upstairs…" Ash said.

"No there isn't honey, you must be imagine…"

"HEY SWEETHEART! Make me some coffee would ya? Hell! I need the caffeine after that work out" sounded a familiar voice.

"Oh god! PROFESSOR OAK!" Ash dropped to the floor and began to heave with disgust. What in god's name was happening to his life? He just went through hell watching his friend die, and now he returns home to find his Mom was a whore!

"Look Ash, it's not what you think, really!" Ash's mom yelled. Ash got up off the floor looking mortified. He silently made his way out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

"Ash! Please just listen to me!" Ash just ignored her, as he entered his bedroom he noticed someone was in his bed. It was Mr Mime! Ash was so furious his pupils dilated and the skin on his neck began to break out in a hot itch. His life was utterly destroyed, he lost his only two friends, his pokemon, his dreams, even the trust he had in his mother was gone. And now his bed! This was the last straw, Ash was tired, hungry, and on the brink of insanity all he wanted was to sleep, and looking at that fat piece of blue and pink shit lying in his bed made him feel as if he had been replaced, as if no one even cared that he had left home in the first place, he noticed Mr Mime's broom propped up against his chest of drawers, he reached out and grabbed it and with great strength broke the handle from the head. Ash's shadow loomed over the peaceful Mr Mime. The evil insane thoughts of murder and revenge were now shrouding Ash's once innocent mind.

"Wake up you PIG!" Ash yelled, stirring Mr Mime from a deep slumber. A worried look broke out across Mr Mime's face.

"Mime? Mime MR MIME!" the weird creature hid behind its hands in fear of being beaten.

"MOTHERFUCKER!" Ash bellowed insanely, as the heavy wooden pole came crashing down on Mr Mime's soft bald head, splitting it like a ripe watermelon. Blood splattered all over Ash's face and clothes as he relentlessly pulverised Mr Mime's body, he felt tremendous satisfaction as he felt the ribs and limbs break under the blows of the stick. "mime…mime…mi…" Mr Mime spluttered, Ash roared as he delivered the final crushing blow, extinguishing Mr Mime's life. His arms were exhausted from the beating, the pole was slick with gore as were the bed sheets, Ash looked at his blood soaked hands, what had he become? Suddenly Ash's mom and Professor Oak burst into the room.

"What the hell is going on!" she shouted.

Professor Oak stepped back horrified at the violent scene, Mr Mime was still twitching and bleeding.

"Christ almighty!" he gasped, as Ash turned his psychotic gaze towards him.

"I'm sick of this life, fucking sick of it!" Ash sobbed, he dropped the broom handle and opened his bedroom window. Professor Oak was in shock at what Ash was doing.

"Heh heh, remember that day I left Pallet town? and I said I was going to become a Pokemon master? I was so fucking stupid to believe that. I should have known nothing would go right for me" Ash recalled, grinning.

"Ash? I think you need to calm down, and let me and your mother help you" Professor Oak suggested trying to hide his shock. Ash pulled himself up and sat on the window sill, he looked at Professor Oak and his mom, smiling serenely.

"Tell Gary he's right, I am a loser" And with his last words spoken, Ash threw himself out of the window, time seemed to move slowly as he plummeted backwards through the air, his eyes gazed up at the sky, he noticed a shape gliding through the clouds, it looked just like that strange bird pokemon he saw on the first day he left home. Ironic, it would also be the last one he ever saw. Ash's peaceful thoughts came to an end with crushing force. He was impaled on the small white picket fence lining the perimeter of the house.

"ASH NOOOOO!" yelled Professor Oak, looking out the window. Ash's mom came running from the front door wailing his name in horror; she cradled his dying body in her arms, weeping.

"Ash! ASH! Please! Don't die!" she sobbed. Ash burbled his final blood choked words.

"I'm sorry Misty" Then slipped away into death's black, icy grip.

Suddenly a bright light blinded Ash but he couldn't move! The sun.

He looked around and saw Brock reading a newspaper by the campfire _…weird, if I'm dead what's Brock doing over there?.._

Ash realised he was zipped into his sleeping bag a little too tight. _…I ain't dead!...it was all a bad dream…_

"Misty! Where's Misty?" Ash yelled, Brock looked over.

Frantically, Ash struggled to unzip his sleeping bag and stumble to his feet. A shockingly cold wet feeling swept over the lower region of Ash's body; he had pissed himself.

The wet patch spread right across the front of his boxers making it obvious what had happened!

"I gotta find Misty"

"Ash? Oh my God! You…you…peed yourself?" stammered Brock

Misty crawled out of her tent to see what all the commotion was about "Ash, Brock! Keep it down some of us are trying to get our beauty sleep!" she barked

"MISTY!" cried Ash as he bound towards her!

Her eyes widened at the sight of his wet patch and that wasn't all! He had 'morning wood' which flopped around as he ran!

"You disgusting little dork" she shrieked but Ash didn't care!

"Hahahahahahahahahahahaha laaaaaagh hahahahahahahaha MISTY'S ALIVE hahahahahaha" he cheered

"Calm down!" Brock intervened "Let's all cut this childish behaviour out and sit down for breakfast" suggested Brock "Ash I think you should clean up first…oh and by the way I finished repairing that tear in your sleeping bag – it should be good for tonight"

Ash had damaged his sleeping bag the night before and Brock, being the expert seamstress among the three, had volunteered to stitch it back up and Misty had agreed to let Ash borrow her sleeping bag while she slept on blankets in her tent meaning……

"YOU DISGUSTING LITTLE TWERP YOU PISSED IN MY SLEEPING BAG! ITS RUINED I CAN NEVER USE IT AGAIN" she screeched furiously

"It was an accident and besides it'll be alright when it dries out" reassured Ash

"No it won't! It will just STINK!" roared Misty

"Ash Ketchum, you owe me a new sleeping bag, a new bike and believe me buster it doesn't end there! I'm adding interest for everyday you don't pay me back"

"FINE, I'LL PAY YOU BACK! GOOD OLD ASH KETCHUM ALWAYS PAYS HIS WAY" retorted Ash as he lost his temper. He began making his way over to his backpack when he banged his toe on a large rock; he stumbled backwards holding his foot but then lost his balance and fell on to Misty's tent snapping the supporting frame in the process

"I DON'T BELIEVE IT! HE'S DOING IT ON PURPOSE!" despaired Misty

The two argued for a good ten minutes while Brock stood back and chuckled to himself "If they're like this now, I don't know how they're gonna survive when they get married"


End file.
